Mother's Day 2022

 So yesterday was Mother's Day. I pretty much wasted the entire day. It was cold and windy and damp so we opted for left overs instead of going out for Chinese. Then I slept...ALL DAY I napped, wrapped in a blanket on my recliner chair watching the Mother's Day movie marathon and reading Mother's Day posts on facebook. After which we discussed how much money we would save by buying a half gallon of ice cream and a bottle of hot fudge over going to McDonald's or Dairy Queen for a one time hot fudge sundae. We saved the money and the drive to the store broke my melancholy. Talking to, texting with and messaging/video chat with the kids and grands always brings me joy. Looking through pictures of family always makes me cry. I think a lot now, especially after losing Sheilagh, about what will Barry do if I die, what will I do if he dies. I never thought of that after losing a mother or a father, a grandmother or an aunt...Now, every day, I think about our age, and although we are healthy, in our head we still feel 29 or 39 or even 49 in actuality we are 66 and 73 by the years end, we have to accept that we are seniors, silver hairs, elderly, OLD and anything can happen tomorrow or even today. 

Finally Home...

Home has so many meanings. Mostly home is where your heart is. My heart is home in Pennsylvania during the summer months. We are close to our kids and all of our grand kids when we are home in Pennsylvania. We go home to North Carolina during the winter months, avoiding the snow and cold temperatures. I guess we would be called more appropriately Snow Birds, flying south for the winter. We call Virginia home for the month of April and then again the month of October. Williamsburg, VA is most enjoyable in Spring and Fall. Not too hot not too cold and Williamsburg holds so many memories for us as we spent many camping trips there with our kids as they were growing up. 43 years of memories to be relived every Spring and every Fall...We are currently on our last leg home to Pennsylvania for the summer. 

Home can also mean our final destination, Heaven! It's closer than we think. Every day we are one day closer to going to our final home. The older we get the faster the years pass. Today at 65 and 72 we have seen several friends and loved ones pass on to their final Home. It's not easy saying goodbye but we can take comfort in knowing the final goodbye on earth is just the beginning of an eternity at home in Heaven. Making each day count, not wasting a single minute...make memories, seek forgiveness(because we are not perfect) hug often, say "I Love You" daily and always kiss goodnight! 

Until you are Finally Home ❤

One Thing

 Just one thing to remember her by. I only wanted one thing... 😭

Sheilagh Porto Nowacki

 

Sheilagh Marlene Nowacki danced into the arms of Jesus on Tuesday, March 15, 2022 with her loving husband by her side. She was 74 years old.

Sheilagh was born to Louis R. Porto and Dorothy L. (Gardner) Porto on September 12, 1947 in Greenville, South Carolina. A few years later the family moved to New York, and when she was nine they settled in eastern Pennsylvania on a dairy farm. As a child, Sheilagh loved to help her dad in the fields, play with the farm animals and read books.

After completing nurses training, Sheilagh moved to Indiana to attend Goshen College. She met her husband Dean T. Nowacki in 1970 at an off campus praise and worship group, and they were married on August 7, 1971. The couple went on to have two children; a daughter, Lisa and a son, Joel. In 1980 they relocated to Indianapolis for Sheilagh to have a kidney transplant. Upon recovering, she resumed her career as an RN working on the transplant unit at Methodist hospital until her retirement. In 1988 a second transplant was needed.

Music was always a big part of her life. She was a member of a traveling chorus, various small singing groups and she sang on the worship team at her church for many years. In the early 70's she wrote a song that was featured on an album and published in hymnals and songbooks all over the world. She was classically trained in opera, and played piano and guitar. But her favorite musical memories were of singing duets with her dad.

Throughout her life, she held an unwavering faith in God and spent countless hours in intercession for many people. She was a true prayer warrior and a woman of quiet strength even in the face of much suffering. Although her health deteriorated significantly in recent years, Sheilagh didn't complain about the dialysis, loss of mobility or constant pain. She enjoyed watching movies with her husband, knitting, coloring and reading.

Sheilagh joins her parents and son-in-law Steve in Heaven. She is survived by husband Dean, siblings John Porto (Faith) and Mary Sparr (Barry), daughter Lisa Douglas, son Joel Nowacki (Kellie) and five grandchildren; Ellie, Kole, Avery, Ezra and Amara.

"Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort those who are in trouble with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God. For as the sufferings of Christ abound in us, so our consolation also abounds through Christ." 2 Corinthians 1:3-5

"The measure of a life, after all, is not its duration, but its donation." ~ Corrie Ten Boom

Our lives go on without you

But nothing is the same

We have to hide our heartache

When someone speaks your name

Sad are the hearts that love you

Silent are the tears that fall

Living without you is the

hardest part of all

You did so many things for us

Your heart was so kind and true

And when we needed someone

We could always count on you

The special years will not return

When we are all together

But with the love in our hearts

You walk with us forever. 💞

Celebrate Life ...

 Two nights in the Williamsburg Christian Retreat then over to our campground for the month of April. Hard to wrap my head around it being April already. Williamsburg Spring and Fall is our stop on the way south and then again on our way back home for the summer months. So many memories there of the kids being young and then with Aunt Julia when she would travel with us and finally with Sheilagh and Dean.

We got our favorite site, met up with some friends and now set up and settled in until the end of the month. Kept the weekend quiet just hung out around the campground. Tomorrow grocery shopping and going to swing around town and reminisce. Memories around every corner. Have to hang on to them as long as we can. Kids grow up and before you know it they aren't kids anymore...they have lives, homes and kids of their own and you become irrelevant. Memories make you smile and memories make you cry...

Thoughts of my sister never leave my mind. It's hard emotionally knowing she's no longer here on earth. I'm sad but I know where she is and I know she would not want to be living here just to be alive, that's not living. Memories flooding my mind. Mayberry Days, we were planning to go back when she was feeling better. Williamsburg, we were planning on meeting up there again and next time we were going to spend more time in town. She's the reason why I know I will see her again one day. We will not be able to travel to Indiana for her Celebration of Life service. Had the date remained the end of May we would have been there but it just isn't possible early in April. 

It's just my brother and me now... have to hug a lot, make sure we say I love you till it's weird... together we'll share memories, drink wine and celebrate; till the end we'll celebrate. 

Celebrate this life...❤

She's Good Now...

My heart is crying...I thought I was prepared, I thought I was ready to say goodbye. I try to rationalize, my prayers are answered, no more suffering, no more pain, no more tears... 

You can never prepare yourself for the loss of a loved one... I lost my sister! I don't have my sister anymore... My sister, she's gone now. No more pain, no more suffering. She's good now,

 I'm not 😭

Grief

 Grief is Like Carrying a Stone in Your Pocket

“The best way I can describe grief as the years go by is to say it’s similar to carrying a stone in your pocket. When you walk, the stone brushes against your skin. You feel it. You always feel it. But depending on the way you stand or the way your body moves, the smooth edges might barely graze your body. Sometimes you lean the wrong way or you turn too quickly and a sharp edge pokes you. Your eyes water and you rub your wound but you have to keep going because not everyone knows about your stone, or if they do, they don’t realize it can still bring this much pain. There are days you are simply happy now, smiling comes easy and you laugh without thinking. You slap your leg during that laughter and you feel your stone and aren’t sure whether you should be laughing still. The stone still hurts. Once in a while you can’t take your hand off that stone. You run it over your fingers and roll it in your palm and are so preoccupied by its weight, you forget things like your car keys and home address. You try to leave it alone but you just can’t. You want to take a nap but it’s been so many years since you’ve called in “sad” you’re not sure anyone would understand anymore or if they ever did. But most days you can take your hand in and out of your pocket, feel your stone and even smile at its unwavering presence. You’ve accepted this stone as your own, crossing your hands over it, saying “mine” as children do. You rest more peacefully than you once did, you’ve learned to move forward the best you can. Some days you want to show the world what a beautiful memory you’re holding. But most days you twirl it through your fingers, smile and look to the sky. You squeeze your hands together and hope you are living in a way that honors the missing piece you carry, until your arms are full again. ~Jessica Watson