How Long Lord? Emo...

The questions of the day, How long will these tears flow, how long till this cracked and broken pot is whole again, how long till my mind will stop remembering, how long will I blame myself, how long will you allow my enemy to escape consequences, how long until you close these floodgates and give me peace. I'm so sad and feeling so low. This pain, sometime it's so far away then with a word it comes rushing back to destroy me again, will it ever be over will it ever end. How long Lord will these thoughts and doubts stop me in my tracks and knock me on my knees. [sigh...] praying

January...One Month & Counting

One month into the new year and 2020 is rolling along. Heartache seems to be the norm these days as we grow older, loss has so many faces, but these times of sadness are the reason God sent a comforter. He walks with us through the valley, listens to our tears, carries us to the mountain top and sets us back on solid ground where we can rejoice in our adversity and be grateful that once again God made a way...

I'm batting a thousand with my New Year Resolution of remembering my grands birthdays. One down in January so far, remembered it on the day but not soon enough to get that birthday card in the mail. I'm much better at remembering my kids birthday than the grand kids but so thankful for facebook and the ability to make my birthday greetings via social media. Let's see if I remember the next one. We have three January grands now. two in the arms of their mama and one in the arms of our Saviour. Our newest tiny grand arrived in heaven this month. We will love you forever sweet angel baby.

No snow yet this winter although it has been mighty cold. Some mornings have been double hoodie mornings only to have temperatures rise to enable us to shed the outer hoodie and long for an early Spring. Our reasons for flying south for the winter is to avoid the snow and escape the cold but it is nice to see some flakes of the white stuff with total confidence that it will be gone in a day. Maybe next week...this week temps will be in the 60's.

Another resolution is to lose weight and get healthy. We are well on our way, intermittent fasting, removed sugar and gluten and cut our half and half consumption in half. If it weren't for our sweet Liberty, we would be very large lumps on logs. Libby keeps us walking multiple times a day, we're drug/doctor free, not typical among our RVing friends, faithful with our supplements and continuing to learn of ways to encourage my thyroid to work properly.

So, January's view from the mountaintop is soon a memory...

The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases
His mercies never come to an end
They are new every morning
Great is your [His] faithfulness.     ~Lamentations 3:22-23

It's a New Year...

Hello 2020! Ok so it 9 days in and I'm late at posting this but hey, it's not March or April so give me some credit... I have a few resolutions for this new year, here goes:
 1- Lose Weight
 2- Get Healthy
 3- Remember my grands birthdays!
 4- Remember my grands NAMES!! ;) LOL
 5- Be Cellophane
 6- Love Unconditionally
 7- Forgive Totally
 8- Pray Fervently
 9- Vacuum Diligently and
10- DON'T WORRY SO MUCH!!

Where's Thanksgiving and CHRISTmas is not a "Holiday"...

Here we go again, our favorite time of year, chock full with memories of children's laughter and anticipation of Christmas Eve celebratory fun, food and family. Yes, that's what has made our memories. The kids, The laughter, The anticipation, The food, The fun...and yes the gifts too. I just can't wrap my head around how today the words Merry Christmas is an offensive phrase. My kids always knew what the reason for the season was. We celebrated CHRISTmas for obvious reasons. Even though memories of the season revolve around the fun, food and frolic, the reason for the season was always because of Christ. It's not Holidaymas, it's CHRISTmas! Why we celebrate in December I don't even know the answer to that. Christians celebrate Christ daily...in prayer, in thanksgiving, in testimony of His goodness and grace. Without Him we are nothing, we have nothing...it's ALL His.

I can't help but notice, now that I'm on this 'offensive' Holiday subject, that Thanksgiving has also gone by the wayside from my memories of Thanksgiving past. I remember the aroma of turkey roasting in the oven, the sound and smell of coffee percolating in the pot, my parents pushing the kitchen and dining room tables together, excitedly waiting for out of town guests, spending hours and hours at the table eating our Thanksgiving dinner, desert pies and fresh fruit. Snacking on cracked nuts and hard candy between meaningful, reminiscent conversation with family and friends while kids raced from room to room making their own precious memories only to do it all over again with the leftovers. What happened to that Thanksgiving??
Today we don't even come together at Thanksgiving as kids grow up, get married, have families of their own, maybe move out of town or out of the state and begin their own traditions. I won't lie, my heart hurts sometimes. Christmas and Thanksgiving are not what they used to be. Used to died and now took its place my husband often says. Sadly, today Thanksgiving is all about Black Friday when that day was always reserved for tree decorating and Cyber Monday was when the cookie baking began for Christmas gift giving. Even though I lament what used to be I understand what is and cherish the memories, love the pictures, tearfully watch those dreaded home videos and vow to go on into the bright future that God has provided, making memories for our adult kids, their spouses and our grands including copious amounts of hugs, sloppy kisses and I Love Yous, the knowledge of 'knowing' Christ and yes, memories of tons of gifts under the tree.












es

Pressing On...

Heartache is inevitable in life I suppose. In my 63 years my heart has been broken and put back together so many times that it’s probably unrecognizable. My heart broke with each of my miscarriages. Knowing I have children in heaven with my dad is comforting. My heart broke when some of my grand babies met the same fate. God must have been longing for them, I tell myself. My heart broke when our younger daughter was sick and then when our older daughter got sick...when I thought I was going to lose my sister and when my mom believed that   my brother and I hated each other...with the demise of “best friendships”, betrayal  of trust  and the loss of marriages and the death of beloved family members... even the four legged ones.

When your young you don’t ever think about growing old, when you’re old you’re always wishing you could turn back time and have a do over... I don't think I'll  ever get that do over, my mistakes are many,  but I  can purpose in my heart to have a start over. The Bible  says in Phillipians 3:13 to forget what lies behind and to press forward to what  lies ahead.  I'm  pressing God...pressing on.

Joy Stealers

September 2019  is gone, Autumn has been here for a week official, but the temps are unseasonably warm, an understatement, it's a HOT and humid 91* feeling like 99* Personally I can do without the heat at any time of the year but Fall should be cool balmy breezes at the warmest and hoodie weather at it's coldest. It missed us obviously but whatever the reason, we'll survive. I have a feeling when the cold temps arrive in December and January I'll have my days of complaining about the cold. Someone remind me how hot it was in September LOL

Trying to keep my mind off of that which is attempting to steal my joy and it's not the heat. It's always something, right? Politics, friends, family... LIFE! I’m supposed to not worry about stuff. Worry Less Pray More! Sorry, not my nature. That doesn’t mean I lack faith or I don’t pray, it simply means I love to deeply. I could never understand how some parents of adult kids weren’t affected by their kids heartaches and heartbreaks, estrangement and sometimes anger. I was always so proud that none of my adult kids hated me like so many of my friends and acquaintance and even some family members have shared...sigh

Back to separating myself from what brings me  the most joy. I get better at it with each crack of my heart...

💔

If we could turn back time...

Here we are in Gettysburg, so many memories here, talking to daughter recalling the fun they had as kids in this place. We're heading South after a great summer with kids and grands even able to snuggle our newest, Sweet Addison Grace who joined her 13 cousins in January. We head first to Williamsburg VA to catch a little tete-a-tete with sister and bro in-law. We had been meeting at Mayberry Days in September in recent years but health issues have prevented that the past two years. Our pact was to meet in Mayberry 2019 but since that was not possible, last minute plans for a few days together in Williamsburg is the plan.
Three weeks in Williamsburg,  three weeks in Chesapeke Bay and three more weeks in Williamsburg is already on the books. This will be the first time we spend nine whole weeks in our favorite state exploring and reminiscing in our favorite town before continuing on to our winter place of rest in Jackson Springs North Carolina. Here in this old town, Williamsburg,  it's hard to not think of days gone by when we would stroll the streets at midnight with the kids and take a moonlight ferry ride across the James on a cool summer night. We still stroll the streets, a bit earlier in the evening, and we continue to take the ferry across the James for old time sake and still reminisce the kids giggles and grumbles. Not all of those days were perfect, I always said, "some days are diamonds and some days are stones" but ALL the memories, good and not so good are precious and way too few... so take buckets of pictures and make copious amounts of memories because one day, before you know it, the kids are grown having and raising kids of there own, living life and mom and dad will have the memories.  sigh... If we could turn back time.