The Best Is Yet To Come...

 My Letter Of Intent...

I intend to Fly Away!

...BUT if that doesn't happen the way I've intended, the following are my wishes.

I want to be Cremated and then... Put my ashes in "Sheilagh's Garden"...

Sprinkled over 20 Minute Overlook... Down Duke Of Gloucester Street...

I DON'T want a funeral

I DON'T want a viewing

I DON'T want a celebration of life service 

I DON'T want you to grieve, 

I WANT you to LIVE

I WANT you to have a picnic with all of our kids and our grand kids and anyone else who wants to be there, just like our surprise picnic in May of 2022. 

Make memories,

Eat food, 

Take pictures,

Have a campfire,

Play volleyball

Reminisce, 

Make jokes,

PLANT A TREE,

Live, Laugh, Love, Forgive, Hug, Pray and don't ever, ever, ever drift apart from each other...

My greatest joy is when everyone is enjoying being together...

This is how I want you to celebrate my life.  

This is what I want...

I'll be watching  👀❤ 

Exit Plan! The Adventure Begins...

 January came and went before I could blink. Already three birthdays in the books for the new year. Taavi turned 5 years old on the 16th,  Lily was 2 years old on the 27th and Addie turned 4 years old on the 30th. We were not able to be at any of these birthdays in person but our hearts were there with them and we are grateful for face time, Marco Polo and cell phone technology, texting, you tube etc etc etc. Looking forward to moving home this summer and never missing another birthday as long as they are being had...

It's looking like our exit plan is coming to fruition. The apartment is soon going to be vacated and we will be moving in. This will be our last winter in North Carolina. Hope to be settling in to sticks and bricks by the time the new little one we affectionately call #18 arrives in June. We will spend the month of April in Williamsburg, visiting with Courtney, Jon and the kids on their Spring Break from school then heading home to PA to spend our Golden Years as they say. 

I pray we have golden years and not golden months or golden weeks... too many in our circle have begun their golden years only to leave this earth for eternity shortly thereafter. We have plans, We want to make fairy gardens, make memories and spend precious time with Johnny...Tell our kids we love them and how proud we are of them and we want to watch our grandchildren grow up, meet milestones, have heart to hearts and learn to trust God for all that's important to them. 

We have things to do, places to go, people to love... the adventure has begun... 

Catching Up...

 So 2022 was a long arduous year. Our country is going down the tubes fast and furious, I don't remember much except for the two life changing events that will always be part of my memories. My sister went to heaven in March and in May, my kids and grand-kids, family and close friends gathered to make Barry and I feel loved with a family fun day picnic  complete with food, pictures, campfire and love and laughter. It was a great day we will not soon forget, if ever...

Saying goodbye to my sister made me realize my mortality. Until you start saying goodbye to family members and reading about the passing of school classmates you can't fully understand the fact that life is short. I will do my best to prepare, stay close and never end the day or a call without saying I Love You.

We were home in PA from May till October. Spent a copious amount of time with the kids and grands. Babysitting, birthday parties, the annual Pumpkin Patch visit and thrifty shopping OH was there thrifty shopping...

October we began a month in Williamsburg. Dean came to visit for a few days. We had a good few days of touring around the area and trying out some new places to eat. 

November began our final winter south. For 14 years we have been traveling south to escape the worst of the winters in the North East. Beginning January 2023 we will be transitioning into our Exit Plan. We have known for a few years that we would be retiring to sticks and bricks when the time was right. When the apartment at our sons home was vacated we would be moving in. Well one year from our family surprise picnic we will be enjoying our golden years home with our kids and grands. 

Christmas was lonely, I won't lie. We had a nice Christmas and New Year together but lamented not being home with the family. Even if going home was possible it wasn't wise as gas was over $5 a gallon, hotel stay both ways and money spent while home only to stay for 5 or 6 days didn't  make sense. Then Libby ruptured her CCL and we couldn't go home even if we wanted to...

2022 ended with hope for a bright year ahead...

An Upside Down World...

 May is almost over, Memorial Day is officially the beginning of Summer. Not looking forward to the heat and humidity of the season. Also not looking forward to what is to come. We are living in an upside down world for sure. Upside down...girls can be boys and boys can be girls, men can get pregnant and murdering babies in the womb is healthcare...Our leaders are evil, our pastors are deceived, our doctors are controlled and the people are scared into compliance. Gas prices are exorbitant, grocery store shelves are empty, baby formula is scarce... what's right is wrong and what's wrong is right...

WOE UNTO THEM WHO CALL EVIL GOOD AND GOOD EVIL!"  Isaiah 5:20

Mother's Day 2022

 So yesterday was Mother's Day. I pretty much wasted the entire day. It was cold and windy and damp so we opted for left overs instead of going out for Chinese. Then I slept...ALL DAY I napped, wrapped in a blanket on my recliner chair watching the Mother's Day movie marathon and reading Mother's Day posts on facebook. After which we discussed how much money we would save by buying a half gallon of ice cream and a bottle of hot fudge over going to McDonald's or Dairy Queen for a one time hot fudge sundae. We saved the money and the drive to the store broke my melancholy. Talking to, texting with and messaging/video chat with the kids and grands always brings me joy. Looking through pictures of family always makes me cry. I think a lot now, especially after losing Sheilagh, about what will Barry do if I die, what will I do if he dies. I never thought of that after losing a mother or a father, a grandmother or an aunt...Now, every day, I think about our age, and although we are healthy, in our head we still feel 29 or 39 or even 49 in actuality we are 66 and 73 by the years end, we have to accept that we are seniors, silver hairs, elderly, OLD and anything can happen tomorrow or even today. 

Finally Home...

Home has so many meanings. Mostly home is where your heart is. My heart is home in Pennsylvania during the summer months. We are close to our kids and all of our grand kids when we are home in Pennsylvania. We go home to North Carolina during the winter months, avoiding the snow and cold temperatures. I guess we would be called more appropriately Snow Birds, flying south for the winter. We call Virginia home for the month of April and then again the month of October. Williamsburg, VA is most enjoyable in Spring and Fall. Not too hot not too cold and Williamsburg holds so many memories for us as we spent many camping trips there with our kids as they were growing up. 43 years of memories to be relived every Spring and every Fall...We are currently on our last leg home to Pennsylvania for the summer. 

Home can also mean our final destination, Heaven! It's closer than we think. Every day we are one day closer to going to our final home. The older we get the faster the years pass. Today at 65 and 72 we have seen several friends and loved ones pass on to their final Home. It's not easy saying goodbye but we can take comfort in knowing the final goodbye on earth is just the beginning of an eternity at home in Heaven. Making each day count, not wasting a single minute...make memories, seek forgiveness(because we are not perfect) hug often, say "I Love You" daily and always kiss goodnight! 

Until you are Finally Home ❤

One Thing

 Just one thing to remember her by. I only wanted one thing... 😭

Sheilagh Porto Nowacki

 

Sheilagh Marlene Nowacki danced into the arms of Jesus on Tuesday, March 15, 2022 with her loving husband by her side. She was 74 years old.

Sheilagh was born to Louis R. Porto and Dorothy L. (Gardner) Porto on September 12, 1947 in Greenville, South Carolina. A few years later the family moved to New York, and when she was nine they settled in eastern Pennsylvania on a dairy farm. As a child, Sheilagh loved to help her dad in the fields, play with the farm animals and read books.

After completing nurses training, Sheilagh moved to Indiana to attend Goshen College. She met her husband Dean T. Nowacki in 1970 at an off campus praise and worship group, and they were married on August 7, 1971. The couple went on to have two children; a daughter, Lisa and a son, Joel. In 1980 they relocated to Indianapolis for Sheilagh to have a kidney transplant. Upon recovering, she resumed her career as an RN working on the transplant unit at Methodist hospital until her retirement. In 1988 a second transplant was needed.

Music was always a big part of her life. She was a member of a traveling chorus, various small singing groups and she sang on the worship team at her church for many years. In the early 70's she wrote a song that was featured on an album and published in hymnals and songbooks all over the world. She was classically trained in opera, and played piano and guitar. But her favorite musical memories were of singing duets with her dad.

Throughout her life, she held an unwavering faith in God and spent countless hours in intercession for many people. She was a true prayer warrior and a woman of quiet strength even in the face of much suffering. Although her health deteriorated significantly in recent years, Sheilagh didn't complain about the dialysis, loss of mobility or constant pain. She enjoyed watching movies with her husband, knitting, coloring and reading.

Sheilagh joins her parents and son-in-law Steve in Heaven. She is survived by husband Dean, siblings John Porto (Faith) and Mary Sparr (Barry), daughter Lisa Douglas, son Joel Nowacki (Kellie) and five grandchildren; Ellie, Kole, Avery, Ezra and Amara.

"Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort those who are in trouble with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God. For as the sufferings of Christ abound in us, so our consolation also abounds through Christ." 2 Corinthians 1:3-5

"The measure of a life, after all, is not its duration, but its donation." ~ Corrie Ten Boom

Our lives go on without you

But nothing is the same

We have to hide our heartache

When someone speaks your name

Sad are the hearts that love you

Silent are the tears that fall

Living without you is the

hardest part of all

You did so many things for us

Your heart was so kind and true

And when we needed someone

We could always count on you

The special years will not return

When we are all together

But with the love in our hearts

You walk with us forever. 💞

Celebrate Life ...

 Two nights in the Williamsburg Christian Retreat then over to our campground for the month of April. Hard to wrap my head around it being April already. Williamsburg Spring and Fall is our stop on the way south and then again on our way back home for the summer months. So many memories there of the kids being young and then with Aunt Julia when she would travel with us and finally with Sheilagh and Dean.

We got our favorite site, met up with some friends and now set up and settled in until the end of the month. Kept the weekend quiet just hung out around the campground. Tomorrow grocery shopping and going to swing around town and reminisce. Memories around every corner. Have to hang on to them as long as we can. Kids grow up and before you know it they aren't kids anymore...they have lives, homes and kids of their own and you become irrelevant. Memories make you smile and memories make you cry...

Thoughts of my sister never leave my mind. It's hard emotionally knowing she's no longer here on earth. I'm sad but I know where she is and I know she would not want to be living here just to be alive, that's not living. Memories flooding my mind. Mayberry Days, we were planning to go back when she was feeling better. Williamsburg, we were planning on meeting up there again and next time we were going to spend more time in town. She's the reason why I know I will see her again one day. We will not be able to travel to Indiana for her Celebration of Life service. Had the date remained the end of May we would have been there but it just isn't possible early in April. 

It's just my brother and me now... have to hug a lot, make sure we say I love you till it's weird... together we'll share memories, drink wine and celebrate; till the end we'll celebrate. 

Celebrate this life...❤

She's Good Now...

My heart is crying...I thought I was prepared, I thought I was ready to say goodbye. I try to rationalize, my prayers are answered, no more suffering, no more pain, no more tears... 

You can never prepare yourself for the loss of a loved one... I lost my sister! I don't have my sister anymore... My sister, she's gone now. No more pain, no more suffering. She's good now,

 I'm not 😭

Grief

 Grief is Like Carrying a Stone in Your Pocket

“The best way I can describe grief as the years go by is to say it’s similar to carrying a stone in your pocket. When you walk, the stone brushes against your skin. You feel it. You always feel it. But depending on the way you stand or the way your body moves, the smooth edges might barely graze your body. Sometimes you lean the wrong way or you turn too quickly and a sharp edge pokes you. Your eyes water and you rub your wound but you have to keep going because not everyone knows about your stone, or if they do, they don’t realize it can still bring this much pain. There are days you are simply happy now, smiling comes easy and you laugh without thinking. You slap your leg during that laughter and you feel your stone and aren’t sure whether you should be laughing still. The stone still hurts. Once in a while you can’t take your hand off that stone. You run it over your fingers and roll it in your palm and are so preoccupied by its weight, you forget things like your car keys and home address. You try to leave it alone but you just can’t. You want to take a nap but it’s been so many years since you’ve called in “sad” you’re not sure anyone would understand anymore or if they ever did. But most days you can take your hand in and out of your pocket, feel your stone and even smile at its unwavering presence. You’ve accepted this stone as your own, crossing your hands over it, saying “mine” as children do. You rest more peacefully than you once did, you’ve learned to move forward the best you can. Some days you want to show the world what a beautiful memory you’re holding. But most days you twirl it through your fingers, smile and look to the sky. You squeeze your hands together and hope you are living in a way that honors the missing piece you carry, until your arms are full again. ~Jessica Watson

Breaking Down! Breaking it down...

 Today on September 1, 2021

What a Friend I have in Jesus,  many times feels like the only friend.

He bears ALL my sins and griefs,  heartache as well!
What a privilege it is to have a friend indeed, to share everything with, and pray... 
The peace I forfeit, the pain I bear when I can't share...but I can always pray...

When the trials, the temptations, the trouble is EVERYWHERE;
the discouragement is real when I can't share... but I always have prayer...
I find the friend, the only friend whom my sorrows share...
Jesus knows I'm weak, my heart is heavy and I deeply care; so I have prayer...

He is my refuge, He is my strength;  so I pray...
Do your friends question you, has your family turned their back?  Just pray...

In His arms He'll take and shield me; I will find solace there.

Blessed Savior, Thou hast promised Thou wilt all my burdens bear,
I  will forever, Lord, be bringing all to Thee in earnest prayer.

Soon, on the other side of glory, there will be no need for prayer;
Rapture, praise and endless worship will be my sweet portion there!

What A Friend...

 So, today is September 1st. My heart is heavy, my explanation is valid but no one  cares to know why. I'm learning to take my cares to the Lord in prayer...

What a Friend we have in Jesus, all our sins and griefs to bear!

What a privilege to carry everything to God in prayer!
O what peace we often forfeit, O what needless pain we bear,
All because we do not carry everything to God in prayer.

Have we trials and temptations? Is there trouble anywhere?
We should never be discouraged; take it to the Lord in prayer.
Can we find a friend so faithful who will all our sorrows share?
Jesus knows our every weakness; take it to the Lord in prayer.

Are we weak and heavy laden, cumbered with a load of care?

Precious Savior, still our refuge, take it to the Lord in prayer.
Do your friends despise, forsake you? Take it to the Lord in prayer!
In His arms He'll take and shield you; you will find a solace there.

Blessed Savior, Thou hast promised Thou wilt all our burdens bear
May we ever, Lord, be bringing all to Thee in earnest prayer.
Soon in glory bright unclouded there will be no need for prayer
Rapture, praise and endless worship will be our sweet portion there.

Nothing Really Matters To Me…

 Is this the real life?

Is this just fantasy?
Caught in a landslide,
No escape from reality
Open your eyes,
Look up to the skies and see,
I'm just a poor boy, I need no sympathy,
Because I'm easy come, easy go,
Little high, little low,
Any way the wind blows doesn't really matter to
Me, to me

Mamaaa,
Just killed a man,
Put a gun against his head, pulled my trigger,
Now he's dead
Mamaaa, life had just begun,
But now I've gone and thrown it all away
Mama, oooh,
Didn't mean to make you cry,
If I'm not back again this time tomorrow,
Carry on, carry on as if nothing really matters

Too late, my time has come,
Sends shivers down my spine, body's aching all
The time
Goodbye, everybody, I've got to go,
Gotta leave you all behind and face the truth
Mama, oooh
I don't want to die,
I sometimes wish I'd never been born at all.

I see a little silhouetto of a man,
Scaramouch, Scaramouch, will you do the Fandango!

Thunderbolts and lightning, very, very frightening me
Galileo, Galileo
Galileo, Galileo
Galileo, Figaro - magnificoo

I'm just a poor boy nobody loves me
He's just a poor boy from a poor family,
Spare him his life from this monstrosity
Easy come, easy go, will you let me go
Bismillah! No, we will not let you go
(Let him go!) Bismillah! We will not let you go
(Let him go!) Bismillah! We will not let you go
(Let me go) Will not let you go
(Let me go)(Never) Never let you go
(Let me go) (Never) let you go (Let me go) Ah
No, no, no, no, no, no, no
Oh mama mia, mama mia, mama mia, let me go
Beelzebub has a devil put aside for me, for me,
For meee

So you think you can stop me and spit in my eye
So you think you can love me and leave me to die
Oh, baby, can't do this to me, baby,
Just gotta get out, just gotta get right outta here

Nothing really matters, Anyone can see,
Nothing really matters,
Nothing really matters to me
Any way the wind blows...

Heart to Heart

 My heart is conflicted. What do you say when your heart says go but your head says no? Recently I’ve been reminded that discernment is a gift but wisdom is a choice. There is so much I need to say but does biting my tongue make way for God to work or will I regret keeping my mouth shut? Past experience has been more like, throw discernment and wisdom out the window and make the regrettable choice. I'm accepting the fact that sometimes God gives parents the discernment to impart the wisdom and then we need to step away from the situation and watch them choose to soar over the mountain tops or possibly leap right off the cliff.  

From my heart to yours...I discern the proverbial cliff up ahead. I pray for God to light your path, keep your feet on solid ground, keep your eyes open wide, make wise choices and remember the valley below. You know it well, you've been there before. You're beautiful, smart, discerning and wise; you'll choose to soar or you'll choose to circle the mountain one more time.  I pray you soar. 

PRESIDENT TRUMP IS STILL MY PRESIDENT!

Been through it all as a parent in America; sickness, dating heartbreak, marriage, birth, divorce... but the stress, the anger and disappointment of this past election 2020 has been unprecedented. A lot has changed since my last entry. I've been out of the loop you could say. The barrage of emotions has immobilized me over the past 120 days since democrats the likes of Nancy Pelosi and Chuck Schumer have stolen the election and replaced our great President Trump with a demented old man who can't string 3 words together without a teleprompter or note cards. Locked away in his basement, his handlers kept a close eye on him throughout the campaign season so he didn't make a fool of himself. 

Main Stream Media covered for him, Democrats protected him, Republicans ignored him...NOW WE'RE  STUCK WITH HIM! Hopes for a bright future have been destroyed with this illegal takeover of our White House. For 4 years we will be forced to watch this old demented man destroy everything President Trump has accomplished to make America great. Our only hope is the midterm election in 2022. Praying for President Trump's return in 2024...

FOUR MORE YEARS...

We are back in Williamsburg Virginia where we were locked down last Spring for two months when the "virus" became an issue around the world. We've learned a lot, mostly that Democrat governors aren't our friend. Locking down the country, closing businesses, crazy draconian mandates were the lefts attempts at fear mongering. Here we are, 13 days out from Election Day. Donald Trump or Joe Biden? No Contest! Donald Trump hands down is the better man for the Presidency. Tens of thousands of people at his rallies compared to Joe Biden's 10 die hard supporters in circles 6 feet apart donning useless masks. A vote for Biden/Harris is a vote for Socialism and we know how that destroyed Venezuela. Under Donald Trump we will never be a Socialist country. Today Amy Coney Barrett will become Justice Barrett! President Trump has placed three Justices on the Supreme Court to date during his first term. He's well on his way to his second term and making America Great Again AGAIN after we suffered a devastating virus sent to the WORLD from China. Like 911 we will never forget and we will never forget how Donald Trumps quick response to Covid 19 protected us from millions of deaths across our country. Today I remain hopeful that my kids my grands and ALL unborn babies may still have a bright future. 

At least for FOUR MORE YEARS!!

HELL?? God Made It Simple for the Simple...

 "For they that are such serve not our Lord Jesus Christ, but their own belly; and by good words and fair speeches deceive the hearts of the simple." romans 16:18

I believe The Last Days are upon us. Everybody wants to go to Heaven in the end; no one wants to go to Hell so some dig and dig until they find the answer they want to hear. They search for a new church, a new pastor, a new gospel... a message that feels good, a warm and fuzzy 'gospel' that's void of conviction, empty of substance, Truth is...Poison Kills whether you believe it or not; Frost Freezes whether you believe it or not; Fire Burns whether you believe it or not; the World is Round whether you believe it or not; Hell is real whether you believe it or not...

https://bible.org/article/what-bible-says-about-hell

My Loves My Life! August Heading South...

 So... August is soon coming to a close. Life is speeding by. Did I just say it was August? Wasn't it just January?? I can't even keep up. The Covid farce is still going strong. People are compliant, the leftist plan is working with the clueless, ignorant ones falling for it hook line and sinker. Schools are still debating closure, teachers like the idea of getting paid to stay home, Democrats are still(after 4 years)trying to get Trump out of the White House and Election Day is fast approaching. The Election Infection is taking over common sense as voter fraud is alive and well. 

We had a good couple of months home in Pennsylvania with the kids and grands. Covid lockdown till June in Virginia kept our Summer short and sweet. We were able to visit Bran, Des & Addie twice and had a wonderful couple of days with Courtney and her four girls. A family cookout and campfire brought our stay to a close and now we're rolling south. First leg of our trip is Gettysburg, PA and Gettysburg Farm. We'll be here for a few weeks making intermittent mail runs home to the Mountain. We learned of two new grands arriving this coming winter. Bran & Des #2 the end of November and Jared and Caits Rainbow Baby arriving mid January just 7 weeks later. Looking forward to December. Home early, spending a week with Bran and Des, Addie and grandbaby #15,  a week with Jared and Cait and Christmas in Ohio with Courtney and the girls. This will be a first, Christmas away from our traditional family holiday festivities. Then down to NC until we head home again to meet grandbaby #16.

Deep Thoughts...Digging Deeper

August already...Day 4. My 64th year is just around the corner. The world is upside down. What's right is wrong, what's wrong is right! God seems so far away. We're living in the last days... No peace. Church is shallow, No conviction... No worship just smoke and mirrors... repetitive words and meaningless choruses... empty. Anything goes... No respect. It's not about the lost anymore, it's about numbers... people and dollars... No power, No blood, No life, No hope... 

...sigh